do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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