I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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