Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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