Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
