i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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