You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
