Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
