Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
