Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
