I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
