After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
