Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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