Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
is it fun? or sober?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
