Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
