Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just invented taco cereal.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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