he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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