you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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