It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
