you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
