The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
