Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
This house was built for laser tag.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
