I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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