a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
