I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize