Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
