he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
