he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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