how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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