I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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