i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
