It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
