Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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