Porn is love you can see.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
