dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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