isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
