cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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