I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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