well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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