the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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