Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
