At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
