Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
