PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Randomize
