Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
