She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
