It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
