Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
