This girl is more easily done than said...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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