He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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