there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
